Myths and Truths of Speed Dating
Questioning the fact why he did for what he did.
Or, ‘why did she block me? I didn’t even do anything.’
Hidden in our minds, is the process to find logics to every situation, without which we won’t survive. But, is the answer really out there for you to find?
Speed Dating isn’t a new concept for the world but India is still getting the hang of it through apps like Tinder. What is it that makes speed dating so unique, when our parents were able to find the ‘perfect’ match through matrimonial sites or better yet, through the known relatives or friends, thereby reducing any possibility of evading necessary information?
Well, it does give you the benefit of meeting the other person directly and if you don’t feel like sharing any personal information, your privacy is maintained on such dating apps. So, yes, why not go for the unconventional way!
As I got dressed for yet another date, I couldn’t possibly think of anything else but the guy, of course. By all means, it was only fair.
Dripped in 6 feet of hotness…
He was coming to pick me up which again, he only insisted. Else, I would have driven all the way to Saket myself. But even with all the traffic, Dany’s voice couldn’t seem to drown in my head. It got me even more nervous. Was her concern for good?
Was I really just going for the same type again?
It got me thinking.
What is the real thing I should be going for? Besides the looks, the first thing that gets you attracted to someone, what more was I possibly ignoring?
The first thing that came to my mind was ‘Attention’. It’s true even for guys, as I went around asking many of them. The fact that the other person really cares for you is based on the amount of attention they give you. But it isn’t necessary that if they’re giving you more attention than any other person in the world, including may be even your parents, they’re the perfect one for you. Sadly, yes, it’s true. More attention doesn’t mean they’re ‘the one’. It might be true, as per some cases that more attention means they’re trying to compensate for something in their lives. It’s not about you. It’s about them.
A few cheesy lines here and there aren’t enough to get your hopes high but the fact that they’re ready to spend time with you in spite of whatever is going on in their lives, juggling with their work, should matter. Value what you have but don’t just focus on the ample attention you get through these dating sites or apps.
Just because she talks less, doesn’t necessarily mean she’s the introvert type or she’s trying some tactic on you. No, whether it’s a he or she, less words spoken might be due to the fact that they’re taking time to get to know you. Listening might be just the right thing to do even when nothing is really said out loud. So, watch, observe and learn.
When my friends told me that it was definitely a warning sign that my partner wasn’t much of a talker, I chose to ignore it. Simply put, the way he said it and his timing couldn’t have been better on most occasions. It is okay if they miss a dialogue now and then, or are not present for the hundred thoughts wandering in their mind, as every once in a while we all tend to do the same.
‘Oh what a body!’
‘She looks really stunning in that off-shoulder’
‘My. My.. I think I might spill the beans too quickly’
Getting attracted to someone based on just their looks is fine for a start but basing your judgement about them on entirely their physique isn’t right. Their looks do not define their talents. So, just because they have a good body doesn’t mean they’re good in bed.
There are many things in life that we cannot predict. Even if you’re in for just sex, thinking too much about it or discussing it several people over and over will not help. Let things naturally happen whenever your subconscious allows so. Going with the flow is one way to deal a tricky situation wherein the other person might not be physically attracted to you but may fall for the things you do or say over a period of time.
You cannot guarantee a smooth road ahead just because it feels safe at the moment. The fact that your partner is a doctor, or an engineer or is into academics or may even be a lawyer doesn’t say anything about the personality they have. Someone might be exceptional at what they do to earn a living but might not treat you nicely or may even take you for granted. Get to know them before getting excited about the things you hear from your friends about such experiences.
Never judge a book by its cover. Similarly, if a person doesn’t earn much or isn’t successful in their career, it doesn’t matter as it isn’t a warning per se. For instance, a musician who is not earning much, but their kind gestures towards other people are worth observing for you. Do not miss out on small things that your date or your partner is doing to get a smile on your face.
That, my friends, is important!
Things like ‘First dates are magical.’ Or ‘First dates should be magical and exclusively planned’ is one big myth. My friend Niharika believes that the usual idea of a date in a decent restaurant, with couples facing each other, you know, fine dining ending with a kiss is the ideal date. My apologies for breaking the news to you guys that there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect date’, especially with all the setting and background included in such a picture. Having sky high expectations from your date is not good as it is a combined effort of both parties and not just one. Moreover, meeting and getting to know them is more important than the place you will go to. Of course, food is important, but other elements are equally essential too. Like your partner.
The fact that two people have a weird connection which can’t be expressed in words is what keeps them going. What all adventures and memories you have with them creates your own truth about dating them. Are they really worth spending your time with is the question you should have an answer to after you’ve known them enough.
Having a one night stand on your first or second date is considered ‘horrible’ by many.
‘Everything was fine Roosh. But you shouldn’t have slept with him.’
When he told me how I shouldn’t have slept with a guy I had just met, it was time to do a bit of researching.
No, it is not true! There are people who end up having sex on their early dates but still have a good thing going on later.
It varies from person to person how they take it. As there are people with different perspectives, some may even like your boldness for deciding to have sex with them while others may judge you. It’s okay to do whatever you wish to as long as consent of both the parties is present. Never regret anything that you enjoyed.
There might be several men or women out there, with whom you want to spend time with but what keeps you going is the ability to distinguish between what’s in your best interest and what ‘others’ believe to be in your interest. Your date’s level of acceptance for who you are says a lot about them. Be sure to kiss, before you miss!