Vampire sounds scary, doesn’t it? And yet emotional vampires are all around us. And we never really notice them, which makes them even more insidious!
An emotional vampire is a person who feeds on your emotions, leaving you drained of energy, because emotions are a form of energy. At your work place, class, your friend circle or maybe even in your family, you may have noticed that you always feel depressed or exhausted after talking to a certain person .There is the more obvious kind of vampire who seems to suck all happiness out of a room as soon as they enter it, a bit like J.K.Rowling’s Dementors in the Harry Potter series.
However, there may be the less obvious example in your circle of close friends .That is if you are the sensitive, empathetic type, which you are likely to be, if you are reading this. You may wonder that isn’t that what friends are for…for listening to each other and for offering comfort. The problem with a relationship between a sensitive person and an emotional vampire is that it is always one way traffic. The parasitic friend is one who always tells you their problems, usually the same one they have had for years. They ignore all your good advice and persist in their destructive or lazy behaviour patterns. When you want to confide in them, they always have an excuse, or they switch off, or they want to tell you how your problems are nothing compared to theirs. You spend hours listening to their woes, cribbing and whining and are ignored if you offer reasonable advice. At the end of every such session you feel very tired but don’t know why.
If you think it’s selfish to not listen to them, beware. The only way to escape vampiricism is to become aware that you are being drained, via sympathy, and then detach yourself. This is because ENERGY needs a communication channel open to flow between two people just like a telephone call! Disconnect mentally. And don’t be surprised if your friend complains that you have changed. They can no longer feed on your emotional energy so obviously they won’t like it. But this is not being selfish so stop feeling guilty. As a friend you should want them to become independent, not use you as a crutch. And secondly, you need to love yourself enough to replenish and recharge your own energy first.
There is a third kind of vampire: the aggressive, warrior kind. These are people who love picking up a fight or argument and actually thrive on conflict. With a little experience you will learn to spot these people and steer clear of them because no one wins an argument or shouting match against them. If you are at all sensitive to noise and abrasive attitudes, avoid engaging with these people and refuse to feed their appetite for conflict. They will soon leave you alone and move to another unfortunate target!
Remember to protect your energy field by limiting contact with people who drain you. If that is not possible, empower yourself with awareness and detachment. You may find white light visualization around you, a useful protective tool. Preventing energy drainage is something you owe yourself!
-Namita Sethi